“If you are being abused, just know, ITS NOT OK!”

I am 14 years old turning 15 in the upcoming June of 2017. My story starts seven years ago. My mom had just gotten home from a deployment and she found my dad cheating on her. For me I was too young to understand but my mom packed up the house and we moved off post. I was so upset. My dad started hitting my brothers and I eventually found out he used to hit my mom. He used to lock himself in his room all day and play World of Warcraft and I learned how to cook and bake for myself at a very early age. Whenever my mom was on deployments we would have to have the neighbors get me and my brothers ready for school so I would be there on time. My dad never made me clean my room and I never got new clothes. Then at my moms it was so different. She would make us get up in the morning and it was very hard to fall into routine. I eventually got used to it and found my ways to get to school by myself. One day I was walking to my school and it wasn’t that far from my house, maybe like seven or eight blocks. I was seven years old when i had my innocence taken from me. I was walking and I got to the fourth block (a dangerous neighborhood) and a bunch of teenagers were messing around. I was wearing a new dress my neighbors had got for me for my birthday. They started taunting me and crowding around me. They smelled like whiskey, bourbon, and pot. I didn’t know what to do because I was so scared. They started by grabbing me and pushing me around the circle and my back pack fell off. That was when it got really scary. They started ripping at my dress and my leggings I wore underneath them, the five boys told me I deserved this and it was normal for this to happen when a girl wore a dress like that. I didn’t know what to do. I was crying and screaming when the boys took me into the alleyway and they raped me. They took my innocence. It took about four hours for the police to find me. When they brought me home they called my mom and woke her up because it was super late over in Iraq and I remember so many things from that night. She got a flight within an hour on a private jet and was home the next day. They let me sleep and eat but they wanted me to wait to shower to get a rape kit. I had my mom with me the entire time. I moved in 2013. I have had a really hard life but I am dong okayish now and I know some people have it worse then me but if you are ever being molested or raped just know it is not okay. I became very suicidal and I have never worn a dress to this day. I used to cut and tried to kill myself but I have been clean for three months and counting and I am proud. I have found an amazing church and family. I love you all and I hope my vulnerability helps you realize you can talk about your hurt as well.