I like feelings…most of them at least. I’ve seen these girls walk around with t-shirts that say “Drama Queen” on them, indicating
they’re really emotional (which, girls, throws a red flag up to every guy ‘stay away! ‘she’s a basket case!’). Often when people are talking to me about God they’ll say “I don’t feel Him,” or, “He used to feel closer!” We equate feelings with the ability to gauge if God is near–we desire to feel that he loves us. I remember growing up and going to church camp. It felt like God was right there. As I got older it was as though I no longer felt or experienced Him in the way I used too. Why was that? Was it my pride; was I more distant from Him than I used to be; was it sin in my life? What triggers the “spiritual goose bumps?” There have been times when I felt He was right there kneeling next to me. But then there are times where I feel He’s so far off, a million light years away, and I’ll never be able to reconnect with Him. There’s a story I heard of a woman that had been saved for 30 years that saw how God was blessing another woman who had just gotten saved. Out of frustration she asked God why He blessed this person that had only been serving Him for a couple of months. She had been serving Him faithfully for decades–why wasn’t she reaping His blessings? God answered simply, “I bless her because she is new to me, and if I don’t she’ll leave me. I know you don’t have to receive gifts from me all the time to love me, I know your love for me is not based on a feeling or how I bless you.” This story has always challenged me. I never want my love for God to be based on a feeling. Im so glad that
when He died for me he didn’t let His feelings control the situation.
Many of us are selfish in our relationship with Christ. We want it our way, on our time. In reality this is not a relationship at all, but instead is a dictatorship–with us in the role of dictator. If God never answered another prayer for me, and I never felt those “spiritual goose bumps” ever again, God would still be sovereign. He would still be a God of love and grace. He doesn’t owe me anything. Yet, He already gave
me the greatest gift He could ever give…His life. I pray He helps me to live my life for Him whether or not I “feel” Him or not.
There could be many reasons why you don’t feel Him like you used to. It could be there’s sin in your life; it could be that you are just too far
away to hear His voice; but it could be that you aren’t doing anything wrong. It could be God is letting your faith become stronger. James 1:3-4 reads, “For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” The sad thing is most of us don’t want to go through those trials to become stronger; we wan it to be like zap–fast and easy. That’s just our human nature. The truth of it is, nothing has a lasting impact without a testing. God is always there, no matter how far away He feels. It says in Psalms 139:7-8 “I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there, if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.”
Take time to examine your heart and ask yourself why He feels far away. If it’s the way you’re living, ask for His forgiveness and come back to Him. If you’re just in a place of testing, stand firm and hold tightly to His truth (the Bible). Let us be people that love Him not for what He can give us, but for what He has already done. Thank you Jesus for feelings, but let my relationship with You be more than a feeling!